Abuse is not just hitting your significant other. It’s manipulation, fear, and anxiety. Emily B, the infamous NY bred designer & former Love & Hip Hop star, was said to be the victim of a recent domestic violence case involving her long-time boyfriend John Jackson, better known as Fabolous. According to New Jersey public records, the feud started when Fabolous found out Emily was in LA at the same time he was. He threatened to kill her with a baseball bat via text message on the plane. Because of that incident on March 7th, this led to another incident where Fabolous knocked Emily’s two front teeth out. Emily then called her father and brother to remove the guns in their New Jersey residence. When Fabolous got there, he searched for the guns but couldn’t locate them. He then threatened to kill her, her father and brother before leaving.
I can’t help but look at Emily’s early years on Love & Hip Hop. The mother of three was always very private and seemed to only confine in her friend, Chrissy (girlfriend of rapper, Jim Jones). Even when talking about Fab on the show, she never seemed elated but more reserved and nervous (which is a sign of abuse). Fabolous never boldly claimed Emily in public and also never gave her at least the bare minimum of a wedding ring after 8+ years and two kids. It wasn’t until Love & Hip Hop NY began until people really knew about this woman who has been in the background the majority of his career. Fabolous, at this point, is coming off as the dude who knows he ain’t shit but is leading this woman on with false hope. For years we looked at Emily as the dumb woman who’s just a long-term girlfriend but did we ever consider why? Did we ever consider that she could’ve been held hostage for this long? Abusive people are known to be able to manipulate their victims to get them to stay.
We put these celebrities that we grew up listening to on a pedestal but we have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. We don’t know the real them. Even Trey Songz still had the fans still take his side without looking at the details and developing their own opinion after his recent domestic abuse allegations. R. Kelly is another infamous character who has had COUNTLESS allegations of sexual misconduct throughout his career but we’re still stepping in the name of love at our cookouts.
Fabolous has kept this woman silently screaming for help in the dark for years while he lived his best life for all of us to see. When will the black community finally punish the men who have battered women?
If you or someone you know need to speak to someone to get out of a situation of domestic abuse, please visit thehotline.org or call at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). All calls are 100% confidential and they are here to help.
A couple of days ago, me and one of my good friends, Mariah, were sitting in the library and we were talking about internships, our future, and career. One name came across her mouth... Kahlana Barfield, The Fashion & Beauty Editor-At-Large for InStyle. I knew who she was and followed her on Instagram & I've been thinking like "Her life is so dope!".
So Mariah put me onto a podcast interview she did recently with "Creatives Talk with Erik Umphery". This episode really had me evaluating like WHAT AM I GOING TO DO AFTER GRADUATION. I've always said that I would never box myself into anything because even the positions that I didn't want, I've learned so much from them. A little background about me, I'm a Junior Marketing major at The University of Maryland Eastern Shore. I am from Roselle, New Jersey and plan to move back after graduation.
Back to the podcast, it was so comforting to hear Kahlana say go to the capital of whatever industry you want to work in because I really want to come home. Of course, I will travel and explore while I'm young but honestly, I can't see myself outside of the North-Eastern Region (NY-DC. Maybeeeeee Virginia). I'm really a family person and being away from my family really affects me (Not saying I get depressed or anything but family is VERY important to me).
Anyway, the podcast & this personal marketing plan assignment my professor has us doing, had me thinking more about my career in general. What do I really want to do. I came into college as a Rehab Services major with plans to get my PhD in Physical Therapy. I thought it would be cool because I'm a dancer but, I don't like people that much so that was a dub. I know there are many routes I can go and for some reason, I keep seeing myself somewhere in Content or Digital Brand Development/ Management... in the beauty industry. I feel like I keep trying to take the safe route and not follow my heart. But I'm writing this to say, DO NOT DO THAT!
Follow your dreams!!! Look at people like Kahlana. She went from $15 a day at a startup magazine to an Editor-At-Large. I don't want anyone to think it anything will come easy. Even I have had my moments where I'm like what am I doing & why am I here and I'm nowhere near as successful as the people I look up to. You know how they say every relationship is a lesson, same concept with jobs. Eventually you'll get married [have a career] and you'll look back at the past & you'll be thankful because those lessons, led you to where you are today.
This is why I have this outlet because I want to let girls in the same position know that they are not alone. Nobody has it all figured out. Nobody knows everything. You can never stop learning. I'm not one of these "perfect" girls you follow on Instagram and wonder "OMG her life is perfect". I'm really real & really going through self-doubt and dilemmas just like you.
It’s one thing to make a sale but to gain a customer is the real task. The reason why businesses like ShoeDazzle and Ulta are flourishing are because they know how to make their customers feel comfortable with spending money with them. For example: one of my favorite entrepreneurs, April Divah Styles of Divah Glam, treats all of her customers like family. It’s unique to see this with companies, especially in this hair overly saturated hair industry.
Now, I’m about to put my business owners on game. A tool most of these companies use is Artificial Intelligence. Honestly, this is how Amazon gets me every time. According to MarTech Advisor, the personalization on Amazon makes up for about a third of their revenue. Like in a relationship, you won’t be with a man who’s telling a million girls the same exact thing right? Take that & flip it into your business. Make the customer feel like you’re selling something to them and not 100 people at once. Companies like Sentient Technologies can help small businesses combat this.
Here’s a statement from the company their self!
“Sentient tracks data in real time from customers by tracking their clicks, scrolls, and engagement. Sentient then personalize or customize sites using their Aware tool to operate in a way that is most effective for them. This is true for every customer so that each person has a unique experience that speaks to them.”
Visit Sentient Technologies at sentient.ai today to see how they can help you make smarter sales today!
Odd numbered years are always my favorite and 2017 is no different. I really felt like this year, I grew. I entered my junior year of college, turned 20, spent my first summer away from home, got my first car and of course I extended my resume (it's popping. I'll give y'all some tips if you want). Aside from all the highlights, I learned so much about myself as a woman. There are 6 lessons that I felt I needed to highlight in particular because these were personally the most important
Made some changes in my life, don't regret none of them. So if you ain't heard from me then you probably one of them
Being selfish was the biggest lesson for me. People who personally know me know that I am a giving person and I give people chance after chance to fix what they’ve done to me. Being selfish was hard to me because I felt like what if that one time I choose me, they change? If you’ve had the same dilemma, don’t think too much about it because you’ll just talk yourself out of the right thing to do. People will come around if they genuinely want to. Because I care so much about everyone who I consider a friend, went people betray me I tend to act off of emotion. I’m going to be real with y’all, I would really fight people over stuff like that because I don’t like when people cross me. But because of the person I am and who I want to be, I have to learn when to walk away
Rule #2, Never let em know your next move. Don't you know bad boys move in silence?
Last night took an L, but tonight I bounced back
This might’ve been the hardest thing for me as someone who “wears their heart on their sleeve”. Although I’ve had an all around great year, I’ve went through some of the most trying times of my life as a woman and I had to deal with it by myself. Handling things with grace and not emotion was the lesson that I needed in the worst way.
I peep game
Some arguments I've gotten into with people is because I took the word of someone I trusted before looking at things from my own eyes. Because of that, I may have burned bridges with people who really meant well. But everything that's done in the dark will come to the light. I've learned to develop my own understanding before reacting.
Time is Money
Be real with yourself
You can't avoid the truth forever. You're going to have to face it one day or another. Being brutally honest with yourself is never easy.
I hope this didn't give you "New Year, New Me" because it's not. I'm not new, I'm improved and always improving. 24/7, 365.
As some of you may know, I am the Assistant Director for the non-profit organization, HBCU SpotlightTV. Our founder, Ventress Johnson, is from one of the areas affected by Hurricane Harvey. Ventress, myself and the HBCU SpotlightTV family, wanted to come together to create a relief fund for Harvey victims. Please donate visit our website hbcuspotlighttv.com/prayforhouston and donate to our Go Fund Me. Proceeds will be going DIRECTLY to the people.
My organization at school, Women of Distinction (located on the campus of The University of Maryland Eastern Shore), will be setting up a drive for clothing and toiletries to donate to Harvey victims as well. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me (via Instagram, email, or the contact section of my website)
People love to complain about the negative effects of social media but I think it's kind of cool to see how much you've changed over the years or even months. Every once in a while, I go through my Instagram or look up old tweets and I'm just like WOW 😳. I really feel like I was a Freshman in Maryland with no license a week ago now I'm a Junior & got a lil whip (Hey Blu Baby 💙). Mini Storytime: When I came into UMES, I was a Rehabilitation Services major with the intent of going to get my doctorate in Physical Therapy. Honestly, I did it because I was like it's a secure field, there's always guaranteed money there. I was getting good grades but it just wasn't for me. Second Semester, I decided to switch to Marketing because that's the field that I originally wanted to go into when I first started looking at schools (I was really looking at a more Public Relations/ Communications kind of field but Marketing still allows me to do this - I plan on getting more certifications after UMES). When I did this, I feel like this was the first step of me becoming an adult. Ever since Spring 2016, I've had two internships, been to my first conference, launched two websites & established a non-profit organization... All at twenty years old. In my eyes it's not much because this is only the beginning but I am so proud of where I came from and where I'm going. Freshman me would've looked at Jr me like "BIH YOU DID THAT!? GO SIS! ❤️" I also believe that I ended up at UMES for a reason because honestly, if I went into Business from Freshman year, I would've went to Kean University (NJ) and stayed home. Being here really helped mold me into a young adult and I'm not even done yet.
You don't have to have it all figured out. Most days, I don't who actually has their whole life figured out every single day? Nobody. Make the mistakes, change your major, move away from home, and don't let them tell you you can't keep your high school sweetheart throughout college (❤️). Cheers to Junior Year & lets get dis 4.0 JU HURD (Sorry the Jersey came out of me 😂)
It has finally launched! I'm so proud to introduce my baby Black Blogger Chick. Basically, I'm not trying to be like everyone else. I'm redefining a "blogger". When you read this blog, don't look for what you see from everyone else. I want for my readers to read every post in my voice like I'm really talking to you. It has taken me awhile to grow into my style of writing and in general just want I really want to do with my website and Black Blogger Chick was the product of those thoughts.
I can't even begin to describe everything that I want to do with this site because we'll be here all day but I just want to say THANK YOU for supporting, reading, visiting. It's all love on this side.